I'm just your basic run of the mill humor blog. I don't spend a large amount of time on this blog anymore but I use my queue so that im not totally inactive

 

meladoodle:

enjoy half of your sandwich being just bread you heart loving fuck


I have a better idea, put jelly around the outside of the peanut butter heart and peanut butter around the outside of the jelly heart

meladoodle:

enjoy half of your sandwich being just bread you heart loving fuck

I have a better idea, put jelly around the outside of the peanut butter heart and peanut butter around the outside of the jelly heart

(Source: music-singing-sun)

meladoodle:

i have a hydrating face mask on that i got for my birthday and my dad keeps calling me a cracker

You seem pretty salty to me

Reblog And See What People Want From You!

askboxmemes:

1. A baby
2. A second chance
3. Sex
4. Kiss
5. Friendship
6. To chill
7. To cuddle
8. A long term relationship
9. A good laugh
10. An apology
11. A hug
12. Be my bitch
13. Be my sex buddy
14. Simply to be mine
15. MY BED. NO CLOTHES. NOW.

psychogemini:

deathtasteslikechicken:

abs-gabs:

SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT

So if a teenager is at school for roughly 8 hours, and they are doing homework for 6+ hours, and they need AT LEAST 9 HOURS OF SLEEP FOR THEIR DEVELOPING BRAINS, then they may have 0-1 hours for other activities like eating, bathing, exercise, socializing (which is actually incredibly important for emotional, mental, and physical health, as well as the development of skills vital to their future career and having healthy romantic relationships among other things), religious activities, hobbies, extra curriculars, medical care of any kind, chores (also a skill/habit development thing and required by many parents), relaxation, and family time?  Not to mention that your parents may or may not pressure you to get a job, or you might need to get one for economic reasons.

I will never not reblog this

thewriterchick:

gaywrites:

We went to the party, and, as I figured, some of the guests laughed and made comments. One said to me, “Do you think this is funny? There are kids here. You want them to see this?” Another said, “You want him to be gay?”  

And I stayed calm. And I explained to them the best I could that there is no correlation between kids cross-dressing and being gay. And if he is gay, it’s not because of anything I did. It’s because he’s gay. And maybe it’s a stage. And maybe it’s not. But either way, I don’t want him to ever feel like he wasn’t able to express himself because his parents didn’t support him. And some understood. And some, trapped by religion or ignorance, gave us the stank face. 

Plenty of people are supportive. They’ll see my kids — Sydney with her long dirty blonde hair, and Asher with his short dark hair, and say, “I love your daughter’s pixie cut.” When I tell them he’s my son, they smile and say, “I love it.” They also apologize for confusing his gender, but I tell them, “Don’t apologize. He’s in a purple dress with sparkly shoes. How would you know?” I know there are parents who get worked up when you confuse their kids’ gender, but I’m not one of them.

I get home before my wife most nights, so I was taking the kids out to walk our dog. They were dressing up in different outfits, my daughter treating Asher like her doll, as she tried various dresses, shoes, and headbands on him. And then Sydney told me she wanted me to wear a dress, too — “Oh my god, it will be so funny.”

I said, “No,” but she kept begging. I said, “People will laugh at me.” She said, “If they do, I’ll tell them to go away.” And I couldn’t argue with that, as I squeezed myself into Carrie’s most flexible dress. We walked the dog on our block, and the pleasure my kids took in seeing their dad go out of his comfort zone trumped the humiliation I felt.

Carrie pulled up to the house, and I saw her slacked jaw from the end of the street. She laughed. She took a picture. And she told me I better not rip her dress. And then we all went for a pizza.


(My Son Wears Dresses And That’s OK With Me | Seth Menachem for xoJane)


Can I just say the fact that the little girl’s first reaction was “I’ll tell them to go away” made me tear up?That’s a kid, at such a young age, willing to defend people. That’s a kid who, if her brother wears a dress to school and gets picked on, will run to his side in a minute, regardless of what her friends will say. Oh god the feelings. I can’t handle it.

thewriterchick:

gaywrites:

We went to the party, and, as I figured, some of the guests laughed and made comments. One said to me, “Do you think this is funny? There are kids here. You want them to see this?” Another said, “You want him to be gay?”  
And I stayed calm. And I explained to them the best I could that there is no correlation between kids cross-dressing and being gay. And if he is gay, it’s not because of anything I did. It’s because he’s gay. And maybe it’s a stage. And maybe it’s not. But either way, I don’t want him to ever feel like he wasn’t able to express himself because his parents didn’t support him. And some understood. And some, trapped by religion or ignorance, gave us the stank face. 
Plenty of people are supportive. They’ll see my kids — Sydney with her long dirty blonde hair, and Asher with his short dark hair, and say, “I love your daughter’s pixie cut.” When I tell them he’s my son, they smile and say, “I love it.” They also apologize for confusing his gender, but I tell them, “Don’t apologize. He’s in a purple dress with sparkly shoes. How would you know?” I know there are parents who get worked up when you confuse their kids’ gender, but I’m not one of them.
I get home before my wife most nights, so I was taking the kids out to walk our dog. They were dressing up in different outfits, my daughter treating Asher like her doll, as she tried various dresses, shoes, and headbands on him. And then Sydney told me she wanted me to wear a dress, too — “Oh my god, it will be so funny.”
I said, “No,” but she kept begging. I said, “People will laugh at me.” She said, “If they do, I’ll tell them to go away.” And I couldn’t argue with that, as I squeezed myself into Carrie’s most flexible dress. We walked the dog on our block, and the pleasure my kids took in seeing their dad go out of his comfort zone trumped the humiliation I felt.
Carrie pulled up to the house, and I saw her slacked jaw from the end of the street. She laughed. She took a picture. And she told me I better not rip her dress. And then we all went for a pizza.

Can I just say the fact that the little girl’s first reaction was “I’ll tell them to go away” made me tear up?

That’s a kid, at such a young age, willing to defend people. That’s a kid who, if her brother wears a dress to school and gets picked on, will run to his side in a minute, regardless of what her friends will say.

Oh god the feelings. I can’t handle it.

at the bar

me: I'm Mary.

guy: Oh that rhymes with my name.

me: Oh is your name Larry or something?

guy: No, Rick.

brawling:

me losing my virginity

 image

I wish my gf had said that when we had our first time

I don’t understand why people keep just ditching work here. Wal-Mart is an impressive thing to have on your resume. It makes other employers go “they survived at Walmart for a whole year?”

postllimit:

after having multiple ears grafted onto his forehead by dr. space, the weary man walked into his last ear attachment session and resigned himself to his fate with the resounding words “space- the final front ear.”

yiffprincess:

I hate going to walmart it’s like a duck dynasty con

Yeah and I have to work there